One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
