Pappa wants mamma naked
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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