One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
