break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
