so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
