And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
