How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
