so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Even my vagina gasped.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
