Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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