Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
