I can't breathe out the right side of my face
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
NoShamevember. You game?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
