last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
