doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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