Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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