It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
