yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
