I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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