god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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