super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
