he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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