Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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