I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
