After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
