oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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