I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
