Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Ketchup is God's man juice
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I love you.
Bad choice
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize