Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
