i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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