I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
