I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
