yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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