So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
COCAINE IS GR8
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
