absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
