I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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