She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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