Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i think my mom watched the whole time
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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