I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
