i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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