ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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