'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize