Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
