So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
