Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just had sex on a roof
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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