How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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