Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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