I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
