He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
