Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
