Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
