wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
