seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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