I'm really into asian looking animals
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
