There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
