I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
