After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
