summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
