I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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