I got chris browned last night
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
