But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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