Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
