He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
