My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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