Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
